past tense

I think I started understanding that I lost you when I had to replace present with past tense whenever I talked about you. It wasn't until I turned "is" into "was" that I understood the weight of words. I wish I understood it before I was slapped in the face with the realization that we've… Continue reading past tense

4 AM Routine

Thought Maze

Here I am all over again.

Sitting in my balcony, hands trembling as I stare at the dark phone like one would at a venomous snake, rearing its head to strike.

By now I already know the routine, so I again and again I fumble for a cigarette, smash it between my shaking lips, and light it. The first drag always calms down the tremors within me.

I glance at the phone.

Still fucking there, glinting in the moonlight, taunting me. My hand whips out to snatch the phone, and I open it to the fucking play button that I’ve been staring at for the past 15 minutes.

I can feel it for the millionth time. That raging swirl of emotions in the depths of my stomach rising and bubbling into my chest. I can feel the fucking weight of it all over again. The loss, the regret, and the…

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sonder

There’s a certain kind of comfort that exists in realizing that every person around you is leading their own life. That your troubles, griefs and worries are not universal - that the young boy in blue shorts you just passed by thinks that losing his football is the end of the world. I think what… Continue reading sonder